


In the dark and in the dusty sunlight

by dduucckk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, ITS ABOUT THE YEARNING, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sort Of, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29340327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dduucckk/pseuds/dduucckk
Summary: “I thought we were past such formalities,Lord Lupin.”“Indeed we are, Sirius, but it did feel right in the moment. You know,” Remus gave him an appraising look, and Sirius shivered, “you look rather like a painting, lying there like that.”“My dear Remus, we know very well that I am a work of art.”Remus laughed. “Yes, that has been well established.” He took off his hat and placed it on a table, then crossed over to the windows. “May I?” he asked, gesturing to the curtains.yall its gay historical pining thats it thats the summary
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	In the dark and in the dusty sunlight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rosemaldrge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemaldrge/gifts).



> this was inspired by a conversation with em thank u for this its the only decent thing ive been able to finish in the past week :D hope yall enjoyyyyyyy <33

The room was dark and cluttered, filled with things that the lord of the house neither wanted or needed. The curtains were drawn, and despite the size of the room, there was something about it that felt small and cramped.

The young lord himself lay on a chaise lounge, staring up at the ceiling. In the dim light, he could barely see the intricate patterns painted there, but he knew them off by heart. His eyes traced the lines of the night sky painted above him, the constellations outlined in white, names written next to them in golden cursive.

A knock at the door startled him from his reverie, and without moving, he called for the visitor to enter. The door swung open, and the footman’s voice said, “Lord Lupin, sir.” The announcement was quickly followed by footsteps that were decidedly _not_ the footman’s, and moments later a tall, thin figure approached the chaise lounge. Lord Black looked up.

“Remus, how wonderful to see you.”

“And you as well,” Remus replied, a small smile dancing across his lips. He gave a small bow, to which Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“I thought we were past such formalities, _Lord Lupin_.”

“Indeed we are, Sirius, but it did feel right in the moment. You know,” Remus gave him an appraising look, and Sirius shivered, “you look rather like a painting, lying there like that.”

“My dear Remus, we know very well that I am a work of art.”

Remus laughed. “Yes, that has been well established.” He took off his hat and placed it on a table, then crossed over to the windows. “May I?” he asked, gesturing to the curtains.

“Of course.” Sirius’s eyes followed Remus as he pulled the curtains open, the heavy fabric moving slowly and gradually letting a sliver of sunlight into the room. Sirius sat up to watch how it illuminated Remus, shining in his hair and turning it golden. When he turned, the light reflected in his eyes made the brown deep and golden in places, and Sirius felt that if he were to die right then, he would die a happy man.

Remus stood in the light of the late afternoon sun, radiant as an angel, but his smile was sad.

“Is something wrong?” Sirius asked.

“No, not exactly. Or rather, yes, but it’s not something that most would consider to be wrong.”

Sirius sat up, still watching Remus. “Would you like to tell me, or is it something better kept a secret?”

“I must tell you,” Remus said. He didn’t move from his place by the window. His eyes didn’t move from Sirius’s. “I am leaving.”

Sirius was sure that his heart had stopped. “Leaving?”

“Yes. My father is sending me to the continent on business.”

“How long will it take?” Sirius almost couldn’t bear to hear the answer, but he knew that not hearing it would be worse.

“A year, at least.”

“At _least_?”

“Possibly longer.”

“This is––how could he do this? Does he not know you have a life here, friends?”

Remus almost laughed at that. “My father does not make his business decisions according to my friends, Sirius. I am certain that you will survive without me.”

Sirius had no response for that. All he knew was that he couldn’t let Remus leave. “Can you not tell him that you will not go?”

Remus’s tone grew sharp. “We are not all masters of our own estates, Sirius. _You_ may do what you like, but I do not have that power.”

“Then I’ll come with you!”

The laugh that escaped Remus’s lips was not one that Sirius had heard before; it was loud, and sharp, and almost cruel. “And what will you do? Follow me around from country to country doing nothing but wasting your money?” His eyes widened as he saw Sirius’s face fall and realized what he had said. “I apologize, I did not think before speaking.” He reached out to touch Sirius’s shoulder, but Sirius waved him away.

“You are right, of course. How could I expect to be of any use to you on your travels?” Sirius leaned back on the chaise lounge in an imitation of relaxation. “I hope you enjoy it. When do you leave?”

“In three week’s time.”

“Oh.” Sirius’s voice cracked, and he cursed himself internally. Remus could not know what this was doing to him. He feared he had already given away too much.

“I will be busy with preparations,” Remus continued, “and I do not know if I will have time to see you again before I leave.” He turned to look out the window, taking in the view of the gardens as he spoke. “I––I would like you to know that I will miss you. I would not have chosen to leave, had I been given an option. But I was not, and so we must part.”

Remus was a dark silhouette against the brightness of the window, but Sirius stared anyway. He burned Remus’s figure into his memory, determined to never forget him. Remus must have sensed Sirius looking at him, for he turned, and showed no surprise when their eyes met.

“I regret that I do not have more time for a proper farewell. My father needs me home soon, and so I must leave, but I hope that one day we will see each other again.”

“As do I,” Sirius said with a smile and a nod. “Do write, will you? I should love to hear of your adventures abroad.”

“Of course I will,” Remus said with a smile. “I can write to you every day if you wish, although I’m certain that that would lose its charm quickly.”

“Not at all,” Sirius said. “If you were to write me a letter every day, I would answer it every day.”

“A letter a day it is, then,” Remus said. His smile was soft and gentle, and Sirius never wanted to look away. It was Remus who turned away first, as he walked to the door.

“Wait!” Sirius called after him. “You left your hat.” He picked it up, and stood to bring it over to Remus. As Remus took it from him, their fingers brushed, and lingered, and Remus’s eyes flicked up to Sirius’s for a brief second. Their fingers interlocked, Remus squeezed his hand slightly, and then just as quickly let go, and with a last smile, he left.

The door swung shut behind him, and Sirius was once again left alone in the room, staring at the dust as it danced in the sunlight.

**Author's Note:**

> drop in and say hi on [tumblr!](https://dduucckk.tumblr.com)


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